July 2008
At The Pool – Pretend You’re a Ballplayer
When I’m shooting pool, I’ll come right out and say that I’m trying to think like Jack Cust or I’ll keep it to myself, secretly taking on his persona. I’m usually behind, and that’s where most people start to panic. Not Jack Cust, who’s got easy control, a good eye and doesn’t let striking out bother him too much. Jack’s a great guy to be when you’re playing pool, but right now I feel like Chavez.
I blew my back out – no big deal, but I thought it’d be good to take a water aerobics class at the gym this week instead of watching games in the cardio room with my buddies. There’s a window above the pool that all the people coming in pass. The after work crowd, for the most part are hot and dedicated to their routines. Now, having a pulled back muscle hurts, but being the only person in the pool under 70 years old — and knowing that hot people are watching you is excruciating.
At first, I was blocking it out, focusing on how great it felt to move without my back hurting. I was next to two nice ladies who let me take the deeper end since I’m pretty much taller than everyone over 65. Then we started doing these underwater punches that splashed all over the place; in our eyes, our mouths, getting the ladies next to me excited. They started shouting about how tough they were and how they’re going to kick some ***. “Whooo!” “Whooo!” they echoed in the pool. Others joined in and people walking by the window stopped to see what everyone in the pool was shouting about.
That’s when I started thinking about Eric Chavez being hurt all season and how everyone’s busting his chops about it and how frustrating it must be for him to watch the A’s get swept by the Royals (the Royals? the Kansas City Royals? Really? That happened?). Just like all the people watching the old people and me bouncing around in the pool, everyone’s watching Chavez and no one’s giving him a break. That’s when I decided to become Chavez and play it cool, share some laughs with the ladies, and focus on improvement.
Pretending to be Jack Cust has never really helped my game, but you should see my Cust impression — it’s really good. I walk to an open corner in the bar and say, “Okay, okay, I’m in left field” and then I just look around with the expression of a puppy.
And I’m definitely not ever going to another water aerobics class at my broke *** gym again. But I’m also going to think twice before photoshopping pictures of Chavez in a wheelchair anymore — and that’s all I can do as a down-trodden A’s fan.
Manny vs A-Rod: Bid for Drama Crown
Maybe what the A’s need is a drama queen to sell more tickets. My buddy’s up in northern Wisconsin, camping outside of Lambeau Field with posters that read “Keep Favre in Green Bay” while Yankees fans try to determine who controls A-Rod’s mind more: Cynthia’s psychology or Madonna’s Jewish mysticism. Then there’s Manny, who in my opinion is the preferred drama queen of the summer. Not because I think violent temper tantrums against 60-year old men and teammates in the dugout are cool, but because at least his drama is about the game, about winning, about business, respect — Manny’s drama brings us back to the dirty steroid-pock-faced game of baseball while Duchscherer’s just a soft-spoken sweety-pie All Star. Even Beane’s renegade trading can’t compete with Coco Crisp’s fame wh*ring fist fights.
Maybe the A’s should sign on Barry Bonds for more hitting power and a drama queen. I kid — kinda.
In honor of Favre’s camio in There’s Something About Mary back in 1998 (that’s right Favre, you were big 10 years ago, get over it buddy), I’m going to play the Meatball game comparing the press Manny Ramirez and Alex Rodriguez are churning up (just like the true baseball champions they are).
The Game: Comparing the Alexa rankings (the lower the
ranking = the higher the site’s traffic) of the top sites from google
web searches. Whoever has the lowest total ranking wins!
Since these boys are a part of a team, I’m googleing their names and their team names. “Manny Ramirez Red Sox” and “Alex Rodriguez Yankees”, after all, it’s not just about them.
Manny Ramirez Red Sox Alexa rankings of top Google Web Search:
mannyramirez.com/home.htm #986,747
mannyramirez.com/news.htm #986,747
mlb.com #208
sportingnews.com #5,050
sportsnetwork.com #12,968
courant.com #12,781
shop.mlb.com #208
http://sports.yahoo.com #1
http://sports.espn.go.com #64
bostonherald.com #4,001
theonion.com #1,729 (this one’s a must read!)
http://www.bostondirtdogs.com #43,776
Total: 2,054,280
Alex Rodriguez Yankees Alexa rankings of top Google Web Search:
nytimes.com #101
mercurynews.com #2,447 (that’s great – the Mercury News doesn’t show up for any A’s google searches, but here it is with a story on A-Rod)
nationalpost.com #7,911
mlb.com #208
wikipedia.org #8
http://sports.espn.go.com #64
http://www.usmagazine.com/ #1,949
mlb.com #208
yahoo.com #1
popcrunch.com #3,990
nydailynews.com/ #1,354
mlb.com #208
Total: 18,449
Hey! A-Rod wins, but don’t expect that to stop Manny from causing more drama through out the season.
Go get ‘em boys.
A’s Get Somewhere
Hey, we got some offense tonight!
I was at work when Hannahan hit the 3-run homer. It was so sweet. I couldn’t wait to go home.
The perfect way to run these reports is while I’m listening to the game on the radio. Being able to watch these top blogs and websites as they put out incredible replays, trading theories and baseball trivia, is such an over stimulated rush! You have the solid and true coverage from the radio announcers up against these off the wall, unknown, basement writers. I love it. Okay, it’s not quite as perfect as drinking beer in the sunshine of an actual game, where everyone’s happy and rowdy and sweet as peas. Little green peas – my A’s fans from the bleachers. Man, I can’t wait for the A’s to come back to town.
Finally: A’s vs Yankees in Marketing
Better late than never…
I thought that the URLs were automatically linking to the pages, but they weren’t so I fixed
them. While the URLs listed are the larger sites, each link will go directly to the page that
lists the A’s. I’m also cutting out the news results this time around because I’m lazy tonight. And I’ll be honest. The As’ slump is a real pill for people, like me, who maybe sorta thought that we’d go to the playoffs or at least rank higher than the Rangers by the end of the season.
God, you know your team’s on a loosing streak when instead of reading the sports pages in the morning, you whimper about Barton’s head staples while photoshopping yourself bleeding green and gold. Yeah, I took the sweep a little hard.
Thank gawwwd for numbers, meatballs.
The Game: Comparing the Alexa rankings (the lower the
ranking = the higher the site’s traffic) of the top sites from google
web searches. Whoever has the lowest total ranking wins!
Oakland Athletics Alexa rankings of top Google Web Search:
1. mlb.com #205
2. mlb.com #205
3. en.wikipedia.org #8
4. espn.go.com #63
5. insidebayarea.com #22,205 (how did inside the bay area rank above the Chron on google?)
6. sportsillustrated.cnn.com #53
7. yahoo.com #1
8. sfgate.com #868
9. sportsline.com #582
10. athleticsnation.com #147,922 (I don’t know how they do it, but the writers for Athletics Nation are able to write amazing posts moments after a game finishes. I love this site.)
Total: 172,049
*sigh*
Okay, can someone please flick one of Barton’s head staples for good luck before I do the Yankees?
New York Yankees Alexa rankings of top Google Web Search:
1. mlb.com #205
2. mlb.com #205
3. en.wikipedia.org #8
4. sports.espn.go.com #63
5. legendsfieldtampa.com #2,017,615
6. yahoo.com #1
7. sportsline.com #582
8. nypost.com #1,038 (apparently, John McCain was at the Yankees game – and not cheering for the A’s. Dear Mr. McCain, you have lost my vote)
9. mlb.com #205
10.sportsillustrated.cnn.com #53
Total: 2,019,965
Awwww, and here I was procrastinating because I couldn’t stand another loss by the A’s, when the A’s win by a ranking of 1,847,916 — and they owe it all to Legends Field (and wanting to flick Barton in his head staples).
So come on A’s, let’s rally!!!
Sad Weekend for A’s Fans (with Bosox Friends)
Okay, so I missed out on the Yankee’s/A’s meatball marketing game this weekend. It was a little depressing to watch the A’s get swept. Especially since I was so excited watch the A’s get out onto the field after Beane’s trades and kick some high-payrolled Yankee butt. Didn’t happen, and it was freezing in sunny San Francisco. wha wha whaaa.
My friend sent me this ESPN story about All Star uniforms through the years, and it cracked me up. All the different uniforms in 1975 are soo Charlie Finley. http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=lukas/080715&sportCat=mlb
It’s a new day, and I’m still curious about the A’s vs. the Yanks. But I don’t want to take away from Eveland’s game against Tampa Bay.
So stay tuned and we’ll see where I get today…
Scouped by a Better Meatball
Seth Godin already has Meatball Sundaes, which I’m actually super excited read – but he A’s play the Yankees tonight and what am I going to call my marketing game?
Pat Coyle recently followed up the Meatball Monday blog post with his thought on how it applies to sports stadiums.
Who do I get permission from to create a coupon code for 10% off a customers next ticket purchase from mlb.com? The code would expire Sept 20th, and would be put up on every coupon website there is. With a nice big A’s logo and link directly to the A’s website.
I think I’m going to use the name Meatball for my reports anyway.
Oakland, my Oakland
I thought Blanton would have gotten traded before Harden. I have an Oakland Athletics google alert, and I still had to be told about the news from a buddy in the office after word broke out. I saw a picture of Harden in his new Cubs uniform today and it twisted in my guts. It’s hard to lose the players you like, but pitchers are what’s keeping us in shape this year so we gotta go with what works.
I subscribed to both Men’s Health and The Sports Business Journal today, and I think I may have sprouted some chest hair… A feature article in the Sports Business Journal is “Path to the Corner Office: Part 1, Landing the Job“. It’s all about the career path to running at team, but my career path is more along the lines of Managing a Marketing or Web Ops department for a sports team. When I imagine myself in that position, I picture a cross between Drew Barrymore in Fever Pitch, that guy from SNL also in Fever Pitch, and a
wealthy NYC socialite/eccentric who lives in a castle above Central Park but charges the battery to her phone, computer, and electric heater with a stationary bike. That, my friends, is the dream. The dream is also to have a crisp, clean white three piece suit that I would wear with gold and green stilettos. Power business woman with Oakland flair. Of course, I could easily wear a white suit to work any time I wanted to, just as I could get a stationary bike that powers random electrical appliances. But at the core, I want to work in the sports industry because there’s so much going on: it’s poetry, it’s math, it’s music, it’s fashion, it’s wheeling, it’s dealing, it’s nonsense, and it’s — it’s baseball! There’s the business side of things, pushing sales, working massive cross promotions, filling up stadiums almost every night, and being able to keep up a strong presence in new markets. Then there’s catching and spreading that magical feeling of baseball. School yard dreams, family tailgates; being an inspiration to people. It’s so exciting to think of and to see the different ways that people catch the small glimpses of that excitement you get when you first step into a stadium in online media. I mean, that’s what’s so cool about this blog, is that people get to share all their stories, theories, and hair-brained “meatball” marketing games with each other. And it’s totally fascinating that blogging is such a solitary action, something people do alone and separated from the crowds and mess of baseball – but how we all completely gush over exactly that.
Man, if the A’s wanted me to work for free dressed up on some Fremont street corner, giving out hotdogs in green and gold buns, I would do it. I’m so sad about the poor attendance at A’s games I’m about ready to buy 100 or so tickets and just give them out through different promotions like radio stations, boy and girl scout troops and the bad-attitude teenagers stuck in summer school, because they may be little jerks, but everyone needs to see a good game every now and again.
But seriously, what’s the best way for a fan outside of the organization to support a team? Please don’t tell me to paint my face or put a flag on my car.
I could get some cheap fliers made with pictures of Jack Cust or Jack Hanahan that say: “They’re not Swishy or Chavez, but they’re A’s, so get out there and start cheering”. I could start some community groups centered around going to A’s games. I could do some marketing for all those goofy A’s blogs out there with a lot of traffic where every other link would be to the mlb shop or stubhub (I hate stubhub by the way)…
Hmmm. I’ll have to think about this more later. For now, I’ll just set these three simple goals.
Goal #1: get more people to the Oakland Coliseum
Goal #2: get them to buy more beer and ice cream so the stands open back up.
Goal #3: beat the Angels for the AL West title — and then beat the Cubs to win the World Series
Personal websites

What I found instead was:
That Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez have their own pages on the mlb. Why is that?
That the Twins have an awesome commercial for Joe Mauer.
Watch it here.
And that Pedroia’s myspace page gets me super pumped for baseball.



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